Choosing an Out of Hospital Birth
Before I got pregnant with Rowynn, I knew I wanted to have a vbac (vaginal birth after ceserean) when we had another baby. My birth experience with Lena is not something I ever want to relive and I knew I had to do anything I could to avoid something similar. I knew I had a vbac friendly doctor and began my prenatal care with the same group of physicians as I had with Lena. I got a doula as early as I could and planned for a hospital vbac. From my first prenatal visit for Rowynn, I had an uneasy feeling. The same physician who told us we had to be induced with Lena (not our delivering doctor) spent the first visit telling us all the risks of a vbac without mentioning any of the benefits along with all the risks of breastfeeding while pregnant. Basically she warned me that if I didn’t miscarry or go into preterm labor from breastfeeding, my uterus would burst during labor. I knew the actual data on everything she had to say so it was just a smile and nod situation. In case you’re wondering, the chances of those things happening are extremely small. I was more encouraged at appts with my doctor who was all for my vbac plan but as I spoke to her each time, while I knew she was seemingly on board with my plan, I couldn’t let go of the fact that just months prior, she was the one cutting me open to take my baby out after my birth plan had spiraled out of possibility under her guidance.
The thing about doctors is they can be supportive of what you want, but doctors don’t have faith in patients’ abilities. They have faith in their abilities and the tools at their fingertips. So I always felt like I had to be on my guard in their care. I felt like I couldn’t know for sure that they really wanted what I wanted.
Around 28 weeks of my pregnancy, Covid was in full swing and when I asked about hospital policies and realized a hospital birth would mean choosing between my husband or my doula and being away from my nursing 1 year old for however long we were stuck there, I knew I couldn’t continue with that plan. So after lots of phone calls, lots of conversations with Justin, and encouragement from my wonderful doula (who’s known me since I was an infant), at close to 30 weeks, we moved our care to a birthing center and a midwife team and I immediately felt like I was where I needed to be. With an OB, my husband, the father of my baby wasn’t allowed inside the building. At the birthing center, the midwives actually took time to talk to my husband about his role and our desires as a team. With each appointment, I felt even more reassured that we were in the right care.
